It will forever be “we”, but sometimes I’m still just “me”

09 Apr
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I left the kids at home with my husband for the longest time since we have had two today.. It was all of about 6 hours (but that’s a long time for our boob monster!) and I can’t remember the last time I have gone to hang out with old friends, without kids in tow for a few drinks…

Actually, I can, it was right before the time my youngest was concieved and I went to a friends birthday party drinks… But that would have been 18 months ago now… Or more.. (maths is not my strong suit on a good day, so if you can work that out better than me, you’re probably right!)

And I love my kids obviously, I love my husband and my life now… But it is obviously, especialy in certain aspects, quite different to BC (before children)… I very, very rarely go out for very long alone, and I even more rarely, do that with an opportunity to catch up with old friends over a few drinks without any children! (I actually generally love kids so gravitate to them even if they aren’t my own hahah)

A good friend is moving to the UK and was having leaving drinks this arvo so I canned existing plans (besides a quick carrier library review on the roadside with a Mum & Dad about toddler carriers on my way ?) and went alone to catch up with some friends.

And time out is so bloody important. I honestly really love being a mum, but it has changed me in a lot of ways.. I perceive it all to be positive to be honest from my perspective, but it doesn’t mean I’m not still the person I was for the first 28 years before I had kids (aka BC)… And sometimes, honestly, it’s nice to indulge that shit-stirring, swears-like-a-salior side of myself that I try not to when kids are around…

Someone once told me “if having kids doesn’t change you or your life, then you missed the point.” And I think that’s pretty bloody apt…. But (and it’s a big one)… It doesn’t make you not you. It’s like opening a door to a different part of yourself that you would never have the chance to experience if they never existed.

But I have been touched out lately, “everyone just wants mum” and it’s a hard place to be stuck… And today I got called out for the “dig at James” on my blog… “you can call him by his name, you’re not at a mums group now!” (is it obvious that most of my “old friends” are male and ‘I get, just as good as I give’ as my mother would say in terms of giving each other shit..?!)

Hahaha my point is, even as quoted to me by another good friend, “Oh! It’s just you! There’s no children around!”
It’s rare, I know, but I needed that time out… I’m sure I have blogged about this before but it is so fucking important I will just rant about it again…

Time out is so important as parents (not just mum’s – see look I’m being less exclusive already! ?) and it makes such a huge difference to our ability to function as parents.. As soon as the baby saw me drive in the gate he was crying for boob and my big kid is all over me…

But it’s ok *cause parent level up* we worked out a way to tag social events, so I brought dinner home to needy grizzly kids who wanted to be both put in thier pjs and strapped to me to wander around outside looking at the stars while my husband (sorry! He has a name, it’s James) also had some dinner and got ready to go out to a social event of his own…

Both kids strapped to me to look at the stars before bed, works like a charm honestly!!

Both win, both get time out, both get to be just a “me” for a little bit without having to entertain a little person or meet someone else’s needs…

Ok, rant over, before I go finish yet another glass of wine and go snuggle my big boy who is already taking up half my bed! Honestly, it’s a sure fire way to boost your “love points” or whatever when you wana call it when you just don’t see them for a few hours, long enough to miss them on the drive home.. And when they are sleeping, they are extra cute when they are sleeping… ?

Long story short, take time out, remember to have time that you also get to be just “you”, it makes the being “we” feel less burdensome… ?

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